Disgusting wedding customs kickoff the season

This Sunday, I'm attending a bridal shower, my first of the season. Not that I'm any type of wedding butterfly, but these days more of our friends' children are getting married, and occasionally, I do receive an invitation to the bridal shower. I hope this means we'll also get an invitation to the wedding, but one can never tell.

We're approaching wedding season and what better way to get in the groove than share horribly nauseating wedding customs via mass media? Early this morning as my alarm went off with the Wall Street Journal Update, I decided to stick around for their segment on weird wedding customs from around the globe rather than jump right into the shower. Just in case we ever get invited to nuptials in some other part of the world. One can never be too prepared.

Ugh. Did you know that in Scotland, the bride is subjected to some revolting ritual called "blackening the bride?" It involves throwing foul substances, such as spoiled milk, tar, paint, lamb entrails (I made up that last one), and any other crap one can glean from the garbage, and throwing it on the bride until she is covered from head to toe in insanity. I'm not sure if this takes place at or before the ceremony, but apparently it requires the element of surprise. My guess is that it happens some time before the wedding, like the bachelorette party from hell. Those Scots really know how to party.

Also, there's a tribe in Borneo who requires the bride and groom to stop eliminating waste matter for 72 hours. If successful, the custom portends for a long and happy union. I don't know how anyone can stop going to the bathroom for three days. Supposedly, the happy couple is practically starved to death in advance of the ritual so they have next to nothing in their systems. I can only imagine how they make it to the altar. Hopefully, someone has the good sense not to execute this excruciatingly painful and ridiculous practice in the days leading up to the wedding.

I didn't lull in bed long enough to listen to any more wedding customs from bizzare-o world. Whatever those Wall Street Journal newscasters had to say, they probably also lifted it directly from this article on insane marriage rituals from around the world. Sad when a broadcast has to lift ideas from already published material.

If I had wanted to be completely grossed out first thing in the morning, I could have simply searched online.

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