It's not all about me

Hello world. Yes, I'm back. After a rather long hiatus, I've decided to get back into this blogging thing, don't ask me why.

It could have something to do with a latent infantile need to reach out and connect, particularly with strangers who couldn't possibly pass judgment on me because they have no idea who I really am -- at least not deep down inside. Or it could be because I fancy myself pithy and entertaining, even though I have no real following and couldn't, after almost three years of blogging my brains out, make any money worth writing home about. Not that anyone in this gawd forsaken economy cares, but I'm currently unemployed and trying to figure out what I should do with the rest of my life. I figure writing down random thoughts and asking people to comment couldn't hurt, but then again, I thought I could parlay my enjoyment of celebrity gossip into a money-making endeavor.

Whatever the reason, I readily acknowledge that I do like to express opinions quite loudly and often, something I don't get to do a lot of in my neck of the woods, what with a husband full of his own damn opinions that seldom jive with my own. Live long enough with a person like that and eventually you'll learn to either bite your tongue or poison the douche bag's coffee. Either way, eventually you'll have to find some kind of audience to unload upon, not to mention blogging is so much cheaper than therapy (no, you need not alert your local police that some crazy woman is spiking her husband's coffee with arsenic and bragging about it to anyone with Internet access).

Truth be told, I owe my husband a huge debt of gratitude. I had no idea how self-centered I was until we lovingly gazed into each others' eyes and solemnly pledged our "I do's." Up until then, I kind of saw myself as an altruist, always lending a hand to friends and family and doing whatever I could for the less fortunate. Give me a cause and I'd protest it. Point me in the direction of the nearest soup kitchen and I'd service it. Ask me to contribute to charity and I'd throw money at it. Hell, I even chose to make a living in a helping profession, one I won't go into detail about now because of tasteless professional courtesy jokes, but you get the idea. Who knew that underneath all that do-gooding and selfless acts of loving kindness it was really all about me? Apparently, my husband, the self-righteous puss. Go figure.

Meh. To some degree, I suppose he's right. Deep down, much as I hate to admit, I do view the world, people, and the stuff that happens around me in terms of how it affects me. I used to think that anyone with a half a brain or healthy self-image processed these things much the same way, but these days I can't be so certain.

You see, living with my husband for as long as I have has made me doubt the veracity of notions I once held close and dear. I no longer believe in magic or that things have a way of working themselves out. I no longer believe that good things come to those who wait or that the meek shall inherit the earth. It's not true I can be anything I want if I set my mind to it or that that one day I will win the lottery (the latter, mainly, because I do not squander hard earned money on such foolish enterprises).

I, I ... I  *gasp* . My gawd, I do have a tendency to fixate on me!

On the other hand, what exactly were you expecting? I mean, this blog doesn't have a cohesive topic, it's not fabricated to dish out the scoop of the day, and you probably won't find a mad rush of people dropping by every morning for something meaningful to discuss around the water cooler (if companies are still doling out free water in this gawd forsaken economy). Hell, it doesn't even have very good pictorial accompaniments. Did the title imply some significance?

Welp, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid the best you're going to get here is off the cuff musings about stuff I find interesting, messed up, or controversial enough to write about, and aside from that, very little else. Blogging is just a way for me to keep my writing skills limber and, if you will, unleash the beast within. The good news is, I hope to write something, anything, even two freaking lines, every weekday. That way both of us will have something to look forward to when we drag ourselves out of bed in the morning. Kind of makes me feel all tingly inside.

So, if you're ever feeling out of sorts, a little down on yourself, or slightly out of touch, drop on by. Soon, you should be able to take comfort in the fact that there's a designated place in cyberspace where you can surf to read the naked ramblings of someone so much more out of sorts, down on themselves, and slightly out of touch than you. And isn't that what this blogging thingie is all about anyway? Creating an outlet? A little oasis in the relentless bombardment of stuff that truly matters?

Mmmmmm, I couldn't say for sure. But I'm about to find out.

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