What you did this weekend and other stuff that makes my skin crawl

I'm noticing that a lot of other mothers who might go out of their freakin minds if they didn't blog Mommy bloggers like to start off their week by writing a recap of their weekend activities -- what they did, who they saw, where they changed their kid's diaper, how much alcohol they consumed to get past a random in-law visit, that sort of thing.


All fine and good if you like looking at pictures of people you'll never meet, watching videos of places you don't want to visit, and reading mundane stories that go on ad nauseum divulging intimate details you couldn't give a flying fig about. I don't mean to be cruel, but honestly, how many readers are actually interested in little Johnny's trip to the barbershop or baby Megan's temper tantrum in the middle of a shopping mall?

Just a minute, Megan, while Mommy takes out her flip camera to record you outside of Chick-fil-A kicking on the floor and screaming at the top of your lungs. This baby is going right up on YouTube. A little louder now, brat, like you really mean it.

Who has time to wade through this blather?

Obviously, not me. I come from the read 'em and comment in under five minutes school of blogging. If I can't read a fellow Mommy blogger article in under four minutes, I'm moving on.

Nothing personal against these bloggers, but unless I'm researching an article, I don't have the luxury to  spend more than five minutes on any given blog. I'm too busy surfing and commenting, reciprocating and reaching out, sending out resumes and returning phone calls and emails, doing laundry and washing dishes, cleaning counter tops my kids didn't bother to wipe, etc. and so forth. I don't have the time or desire to slog through endless weekend drivel.

Speaking of which, I suppose you're too busy to read my weekend recap so I'll condense it plus do you the favor of omitting reams of pointless video and insipid camera capture.

Let's see .... I made a scrumptious four-course lunch, entertained a fun group of company, watched the new "Alice in Wonderland" and "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnussus" on DVD blue ray, celebrated the marriage of or friends' daughter, called the exterminator about a chirping noise inside our kitchen walls (more about this tomorrow), and played over two hours of Bananagrams. Whoop-de-doo!

Don't get me wrong. It's wonderful to share our lives with one another, but where do we draw the line? Allowing strangers to gawk at pictures of our children, disclosing intimate details of arguments we had with our husbands, posting video of ourselves in revealing lounge wear -- it's all TMI to me.

I hope the next time certain Mommies get the urge to ramble on and on about every lame detail of their lives, they'll take pity on fellow bloggers like me. People who are only too happy to connect with them, but also want to maintain an aura of distance.

Save all that intimate crap for someone who frankly gives a damn.


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6 comments:

Dawn K. said...

You are too funny! Thanks for the follow and the LAUGH this morning! I'll be back!

Dawn
http://www.thewayiseethings.typepad.com

Penny @ iCouldbeFake.com said...

LOL. I just read all that and it was a total waste of my time!

Do mommy bloggers really recap their entire week on a Monday post? I had no idea, I guess I'm just not a real mommy blogger than.

Thanks for the comment... and the non-pity follow!

Nolie said...

LMAO You know sometimes the only way to get through that tantrum is to record it to pay them back with years later.

CherylT said...

Couldn't agree with you more, Penny. Thanks everyone else for your encouragement. And now on to bigger and brighter things.

Dalia (Generation X Mom) said...

LOL! Funny and true!

Ar said...

Ouch! I'm a Mommy Blogger. Thanks for the laugh! BTW, found you at Krapsody.
The Sometimes, Never, Eventually Express:Satire News Blog- http://thesnee.typepad.com/blog

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