Reckons of Crass Construction

Okay, we don't have a cat. Which means some ravenous, blood thirsty, limb-from-limb stripping, totally heartless animal waited until we were asleep to attack this poor defenseless bird in our flower planter. It was all I could do to hold back a bloodcurdling scream after stumbling upon its withering carcass.


How would you like to encounter a scenario like this on your front porch? Definitely not good for the digestive system. Almost eight hours since I first laid eyes on it and I'm still feeling queasy.

Cleanup suggestions, anyone?

Yesterday, I stumped door to door for Maryland State Senator Jim Brochin, who is facing a few challengers in his bid for re-election. We got so sweaty going door to door, Jim offered to buy us drinks.

I think Brochin is the kind of legislator Annapolis can't afford to lose. Bright, personable, fiscally conservative, progressive on the environment and matters of social justice, and willing to put his money where his mouth is, especially when it comes to balancing the State budget, Brochin is one of the few Democrat incumbents willing to buck the political machinery.

You've heard about Wordless Wednesday? Well, welcome to Faint Friday. Faint because there's video involved, provided that you have a high tolerance for complete and utter boredom.

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You try planning a BBQ on a holiday weekend. Yep, it's Memorial Day and yesterday, I had a rollicking good time at the grocery store. Not.

To honor the memory of America's fallen heroes, some heartfelt grocery store haikus:

Back in a corner
Watermelons turn into
Smelly rotten fruit

Where are the store clerks?
Endless long aisles look alike
Can't find the ketchup

My cart's squeaky wheel
Pleads for a grease infusion
Nails across blackboards

The crying baby
Ignores attempted soothing
Shut up already

Checkout line backed up
She took her time with my stuff
Brand new employee

Nerves shot, patience gone
Once again in longest line
I sure can pick 'em


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It wasn't their fault. Innocent victims of a freak once-in-a-generation snow storm -- scratch that, uh, blizzard -- that paralyzed Baltimore County and most of the State of Maryland, they withstood layer upon layer of limb crushing snow, only to solemnly meet their maker in the coming spring.

The wood chipper. I can almost hear their silent screams pierce the grinder as bark, pulp, and pine needles become mulch for budding young flower buds and promising vegetable gardens.



Wretched beasts of brown decay, yellowing pines, and sun-obliterating spread. Beauty draining monstrosities obliviously trespassing the property line, breeding bone chilling resentment in their wake.